First sleepless night this fall...

... never expected to have a sleepless night before a whole work day. I still have 4 h to sleep before the day starts...

I've tried everything to fall asleep... most of all talking to the Sheperd and hearing worship music. nothing has worked but I'm sure there is good enough reason for that.

Tonight God revealed to me the path I fall in when I'm tired and overwhelmed. I knew it before but why I never turn from it. God always provides a way out before I fall into sin. Before I went to bed about 10pm I thought about bad things that lead to another big mistake. I really want to brake that sin from my life. It destroies everything like any other sin. But I know there isa way out trust God and RUN from the temptation...

God is so merciful and good. Only he can help us in the midst of crisis.

Life in general is a mess that God is holding together. Sometimes I wish i could step out of the circel of life. WORK-home-friends-WORK... I really don't want to admit but really my Father in heaven is in hold of my life and He is so AMAZing.

Why is it so hard to let go of things and give my life entierly over to God? That is the biggest problem of my life right now. i want to do things in my own strenght but that is simply impossible. God has whisperd to me at least 3 different times and ways that i have to let Him be in control of mylife and things only He can change.

But I'm a to do person... I want to do something in order for things to get better. but sometimes(often times) its only God who can do something.

Only He knows what I need and what the people and little ones around me need.

Okay I better go to sleep before its too late! (3h and 40 min left) please pray for strenght. 10.5h at work with 12 children... YAY! God can show His power today for sure... I can not do this alone!